The funniest person I know

is the other B. One of our IMs from today:

Oy says:
oh god, wings and things is staging a revolution. i'm afraid to stand up.
Oy says:
lord.
smalls says:
hahaha!!!
Oy says:
come over and push me in my chair.
smalls says:
omg ... hahaahahahah!!
smalls says:
no ... that would stink
Oy says:
you're telling me.
Oy says:
i need a push! if i stand up i'm going to explode!

She makes me laugh all of the time.

Some nice things

about being single:

I haven't shaved since Sunday
I haven't made the bed since I moved in
The bathroom counter is a wreck of things I use all the time
I haven't gone shopping for food all week ... booze? yes, but no food to cook at home
When I do go shopping, it will be for at least a week. I will probably eat the same meal 2+ times in a row
I haven't been to the gym all week and have eaten like crap (I'll go back next week .. but I'm enjoying the non-guilt of not going or eating what I want)
I took that call from the guy at the bar
I don't feel like I have to be a certain way ... just me
I have a great circle of friends and my family is amazing

Reality setting in

He came home from his Chicago trip this weekend. We had brunch on Sunday. It was nice. Slightly awkward. Pleasant kiss. Was it a good idea? I don't know. I know that it's hard to walk away from 2+ years of loving someone. Regardless of what was done. I know that it's hard for me to shut off my feelings for him. After giving so much and trying so hard, I just wanted to see how it would go. He still felt far away. Not in the same way that he had been. I felt the guilt he was feeling. I felt it pouring off him. Forced conversation. But oh how I wanted it to be different. Except it ended in fighting. I'm still angry. He still wants to just walk past everything. And there are always reasons that people become an Ex.

my guard cat

So, I'm in. My own place. Me and kitty. The other B put up curtains in my bedroom so people can't watch me sleep. My clothes are all away. I have cooked 2 meals. They were the best enchiladas and turkey stirfry ever. Not together...



Last night me and kitty were in bed sleeping. It must have been around 4am when someone was going to work. My place is on the corner near the 4 flights of stairs (more to follow) and I heard someone walk by and head downstairs ... and kitty was GROWLING! It was awesome. Like a dog growling low and in the back of his throat. I felt safer for a moment just a moment.







Until I realized that this is the guy that runs and hides from his tail. Or from the other B's sneezes. Or from the TV. You name it and he runs.... BUT, I tell myself that he's really a bad ass. Look at the rabies drool there!


So ... to anyone thinking of coming into my place without me wanting you to ... watch out. Killer kitty is gonna get you!!



Grrrrrrr .... MOW!

Moving day

I've got my keys. I've got my boxes. I've got my family. I've got my friends. I've got my kitty. I just need to pack. I'm so excited.

MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME

Whatever I want. Whenever I want. With whoever I want.

On a side note, he called yesterday. I didn't answer. He left 9 messages. NINE TIMES he left a message. Just wanting to talk. I guess its really sinking in for him finally. He should have thought of that before he did what he did.

My own space

I sign my new lease tomorrow and get my keys on Thursday. I am so excited. I'm looking forward to just being me. Let him live with his choices.

Memememememememememe

And kitty.

On our own again!!

Love it.

And so it's done ...

He told me that something did happen. But only the once in DC. Which I of course don't believe since he's been to NY a couple times. And his messages to her. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. He wanted us to work because he realized that the grass was not greener on the other side. I told him that I was of course going to move out. He wanted me to think about it. I told him that I couldn't do it. The fact that he lied to me for over half of our relationship ... couldn't do it. Plenty of tears. I asked him to stay with his parents until the end of his next trip. He said no. So, I'm moving my stuff out today to stay with a friend for a couple weeks until I get a place.

I'm still kind of shell shocked ... and it hasn't quite sunk in. Maybe when I'm moving my stuff I'll have a breakdown. Or maybe not.